Friday, June 6, 2008

We want your panties for peace

Thanks to the diligence of our hardworking publisher, this morning's predawn Editorial Board meeting was very pleased to learn about - and fully endorse - the magnificent work being done by Panties for Peace to end the military regime's stranglehold over Burma (Myanmar.)

Evidently the generals are afraid of female undergarments...so we encourage you to visit Panties for Peace, and pledge your panties to this important cause. Men can pledge their panties too, as long as they promise not to tell...






Thursday, June 5, 2008

Having your “Snugglepuss” and eating it too…

It’s all too easy for progressive-types like the team here at Nine Maiden Press to become extremely boring...eating only free-range chickens which have a massage every third Tuesday; talking to plants; campaigning for the rights of guinea pigs in captivity…you know the drill.

But for those of us who want to forge a new, bolder, naughtier kind of Liberal ubermensch, it seems high time that we find ways in which we can show our colors in all the places that we do business…

…including the sex shop…

Our co-founder and publisher spent countless minutes yesterday scouring the internet for just such an opportunity and lo, we give you
Babeland.com, a feminist-approved online purveyor of everything a good Liberal needs to get off, or as they put it “sex toys for a passionate world.”


Consider one of Babeland's more controversial products in terms of customer satisfaction...Snugglepuss. Only a true feminist, and a fine human being would be so considerate as to design such a contraption.
"Snuggle up with the Snugglepuss, Vibratex's first hands-free dual action vibrator. The full curved half goes inside to provide solid vibrating pressure on the G-spot, while the nubby butterfly half cuddles up to the clit while also stimulating the vulva. Plus, the Snugglepuss automatically begins to vibrate when the two halves are pulled open, so there's no fumbling for an on/off button."
The only thing that this astonished Editorial Board can say is “God bless them, every one.”

You want naughty toys? Fine. Just make sure they’re socially responsible. You can have your cake and eat it too.

Welcome to Nine Maiden Press!

Nine Maiden Press is an independent publisher of traditional and electronic media, articulating the numinous art of being a lovely human. Founded a few days ago by two hopelessly bookish Liberals from New England and the Hudson River Valley, the work of the Press is to tickle the sensual and mystical interactions between culture, cuisine, politics, religion and sex, which together make up the life and history of the delighted and enlightened biped.